Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
