eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
