My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Semen is not good for contacts.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
