remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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