that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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