So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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