Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize