I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
