I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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