No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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