on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
