yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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