Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
