They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
