he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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