I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
