you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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