I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
