but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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