My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
