Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
