Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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