So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
