you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
