just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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