i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
