Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
