there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
