Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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