You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
