As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
