I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
