that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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