lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
