I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
