just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
