i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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