I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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