New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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