he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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