i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is Oprah even human
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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