Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she smelled like a LAN party
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Shame - the story of my life.
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