I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
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