He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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