That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sext me about skeletons
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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