i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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