oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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