I can tuck mytits in my pants
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
