I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
