I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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