Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
