I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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