guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize