I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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