I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just google imaged poop.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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