He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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