I am in a vortex of obligation.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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