At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize