god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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