yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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