I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
