I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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