thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
