I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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