so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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