What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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