Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
