Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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