I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
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Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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