College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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