next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Randomize
